January 2009
13 posts
Talk about disdain for elipses
I just received this e-mail:
“Scott,
We have received the outstanding materials in support of your application to Medill’s graduate journalism program. Your application is complete and ready for review. Due to the application completing after the priority deadline, a decision on the application may be delayed…
Best,
Ward P. Belford”
Seriously, you’re ending an...
Here’s an idea proposed by John Stewart on Tuesday night:
In regards to the bailout package, why give money to the banks and large corporations? Instead, why not give the citizens money to pay off their consumer loans and mortgages? Then we’d give the loan payments off to the banks, they’d have money, and we’d have no debt and so we could spend more, which is, I think,...
“I was having a discussion with some guys from work and a girl walked by and the...”
– Cody.
This reminds me of the recent episode of The Office when they are trying to decide whether Hillary Swank is hot. Jim presents to Kevin a hypothetical situation where Swank approaches him and Kevin is swayed to the side of Swank=hot for a moment, but then realizes, “No, the question...
If only I could show you what some kid in my office just circulated to all the paralegals. People were trying to come up with ideas to make a girl’s birthday card. I think she has a reputation for partying too much, sleeping late and taking cabs to work (I used to think this girl was kind of funny because she swore about something the first day I worked with her…now, I’m...
Post Apocalyptic Slush
I just made it into work, and I thank the good deity above that I am still alive. Yesterday, it snowed in the DC area pretty much all day. Walking home last night, I could not help but reminisce about playing snow football as I passed a park. The clouds were low enough and the air moist enough to pick up the glow from the city and the streetlights and it lit the park in such a way that made...
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/01/23/world/europe/23cr... →
This article talks about all the whacky, toilet-humor-related names of English towns and roads. There are some very good ones, I think it’s more than worth reading.
“Help us then, now, Lord, to work for that day when nation shall not lift up sword against nation, when tanks will be beaten into tractors, when every man and every woman shall sit under his or her own vine and fig tree, and none shall be afraid; when justice will roll down like waters and righteousness as a mighty stream.” —Rev. Joseph Lowery, Inauguration Benediction.
...
A Few Questions
1. If you had pop rocks and newly opened seltzer together, would there be an explosion in your mouth?
2. What’s worse for you (or what’s worse just in general), drinking 3-4 beers every night, eating 2-4 giant bowls of cereal per night, or alternating between the two (i.e. one night=3-4 beers, next night=2-4 bowls of cereal, repeat)?
This one’s rhetorical:
3. How about that...
Don't listen to Cursive...
The other day I was driving home from work around 8 PM or so (this was actually last Sunday…yeah, we’re gonna need you to come in on Sunday…), listening to Cursive’s album Happy Hollow. I had originally put the album in because on my way to work at 9:45 AM, I hit a bunch of traffic because they were doing a mock parade for Obama. I made it within a few blocks of my...
I Stand Corrected →
You know, the times are changing. Amish can do stuff now, and you’re going to learn how to deal with it.
The locking mechanisms on the bathroom stall doors here are made by a company known as ‘Hiny Hiders.’
As long as I live, I hope I never fail to find humor in the absurd, because there is so much of it in this world. It’s nice to have a quick chuckle and a brief shake of the head now and then.
This is what I’m thinking about myself right now: I’m a repeat, first-time offender, though I haven’t rewritten history. I just made a copy. (And yes, I’ve been sitting on that one for awhile, because it is just such a damn clever reworking of a song quote and Mitch Hedberg joke. I am proud as punch of myself.)
I won’t go into details about why I’m thinking...
“I wrote Bruce a letter, because we’ve known each other over twenty years,...”
– Mickey Rourke